Killing. /

Bored at home. Update blogger everytime. Watching youtube. Watching cute couples. AND ITS KILLING ME!!!!! UGHHHH!!! Whyyy :(((( I cant stop crying. Ughhhhh.......... And watching dancing crew, tribe and its killing me too!! Ahhhh no.... Please no no. Its killing me. But me still keep watching dumb-dumb me. Hmmm

Weird. /

Hi people. Its a bored you know. Im doing nothing. Im bored to be alone. Hmmmmm. Bosan k bosan. Duhhhhh~~~ So yeah now. Haha, i cant even meet him as you can see. So im stalking him through the tv!! Hahahaha mcm poyo mcm spy pun ada haha ekceli stalk through the tv macam pelik bukan ((Krik krik)) hahaha. So ta-da!!

Im sorry i dont mean to. Hmmm i wanna see your face everyday but i cant so i watch you through the tv with tears!! Hi awak............................. ((Hoping you are waving back to me through the tv.beranganing)) Its a little bit weird am i? Hahaha funny me. I just want to meet you everyday. So ta-da!! Through the tv lah tp..... But so kay lahh dpt tgk muka awak juga. Hihi, i kept rewind it. I love the part masa awak jalan mcm model tu. Comel!! Seriously. Hikhik. So you can vote for them!! Search their twitter @returndancecrew yeahh. xoxo

Freakin' Monday /

Hi people. Its a boring Monday. Ughhh!! Monday is killing me. Duhhh-uh-uh!! Well, im not in a very good condition im sick this is killing me too. Not so. Uhm, i cant even eat my throat are in pain. Hmm, my feet are cold. Very cold.... But the others are hot. And im cold. You know what i mean aite? I wanna eat!! Im freakin dizzy!! YaAllah kuat kan lah aku..... Hmm... Laying on the bed like a boss. Duhhh. Now im home alone. Should i say o yeah or yeahh!! Haha funny. Kinda bored but layan kan aje. xoxo

Memoir /

I kept all our memories in this book. Its supposed to be us keep remember our memories sayang. But, we cant repeat the memories like we used right? I wouldnt throw it or do something with this book. I will keep it or i will give to you oneday. But oneday i will. I wont regret to have you. I wont, instead i still in love with you and still missing you. Theres a part of me is missing. The missing pieces is you. All the sweet and sour memories are in this book. I wrote all our up and down life. You hv read this book once. Not the whole story. I shall share this story with you. I will insya'Allah :) xoxo

Friends are forever. /

Without you guys i am nothing. Thank you guys :') xoxo


Hi, should tweeting or wht? Im craving for tweeting but.......... I keep deleting the things that i tweeting. Im just to scared. And i dont know why. Im just scared. xoxo



People. /

//Assalamualaikum. Hi people!! Yeahhh its was a bored day. Emmmm im not going to tuition today. I was too lazy. Duhhh. Plus there was a apa tah. Malas nk dtg even there was a study time. But yet still lazy. Lulzzzz. So yeahhh i kept updating my blog hahaha. Since i was yeahhh escaping from social network. Kahkah. Hahaha ((Kelak000)) Hmmm i was so bored. As you can see there is no motif i kept updating this blog. You know what i mean. I was too bored so i was updating this blogg yeahhh. Hahahahhaha. So much of problem? No good enough. Problem? Get away from here you "Tuttttt" Oh em geeeee. So jahat of me. Hahahah sorry guysss. Im sorry for the harsh word :| ((Sad thingy)) So i kept my favourite song. Yeahh emmm i keep repeating "Be mine-Tasha Manshahar" Yeah this was the first song that I like you to hear. Right? Remember? And the second one was "Kimia-Melda Ahmad" I hope you remember that. Or am i the only one remember all those thingy? No right? I wish you were remember too. Cause this is our song. Emmmm. I kept strumming my guitar. I miss to strumming my guitar for you. Even you were busy you like to hear my guitar strumming right? Hearing my voice singing for you. Dont miss that? I miss that a lot like seriously. Its kinda sad i got nobody to hear me strumming my guitar. Emmm. Im just missing babe :(( I wanna show you how strong am i. BUt i cant. I know you were laughing at me cause i was too weak infront you. I know you love when i was too weak. You will laugh all night all day long. I know. Its kinda hurt. But ill try to be strong like i used to. I was too lame to be weak right? Emm ill try to be strong i will. Hmm.... You always give me spirit when i was too weak. Hmm. I missing all those thingy like seriously. All those thingy are killing me like seriously!! I cant handle it. I wish you were mine again. Ughhhh!! I was too stupid. Ughhh!!! Hmmm. What can i do. Thats me. So yeah. xoxo

Positive /

//Assalamualaikum. Hi people. Hihi nice to meet you guys!! Lulzzzzzzz. I was in dilemma just now. Hahaha, i want to watch Johor games tomorrow. So my brother ask me weather i want to or not but..... Sadly i got no friends. Yeahhhhh, no friends to invite to watch that games. So i was asking him. But... yeah i know the answer.... But naughty to me. So bad of me keep texting and asking him out. Hmmmm.... sadly before this thingy happen we are supposed to watch football at the stadium together but sadly all thingy turns wrong. Hmm sad me. So sad. Apa lg nk buat takd rezeki. Emmm..... Hihi, kinda fun when i throw all my feeling through this blog hahaha ((kelak0)) poyo me. Hahahaha, so yeah lately I've being such a brave you know. I go anywhere by my own. Emmmm yeahhh kinda scared but i dont know why ive being so brave. Hmm, if he was with me right now of course he was mad mayb or he willing to company me to everywhere i go. Hmm but now? Everything was wrong. Ugh.... So sad of me. Hmmm. Why am i so sad. Sad sad sad sad asda da s a sa sa da ssada sad sa d a sa d a s a d a  sa d asda  a s da a s  s da  s ((Hahaha mengarut me  its supposed to be a lot "sad" there but i playing with the keyboard)) So now? I dont want to eat at all. weird me. I used to be a eater girl. You know what i mean? I love to eat a lot. But now? Pandang makanan pun taknk :(( Hmm rasa mcm makanan tu jahat sangat sampai tak boleh makan. But tu semua rezeki Allah. Alhamdulilah there is food even i was not eating it. So yeah yesterday i was having a tea time with my family in the evening. I was home late yesterday so my granny felt so worried about me. And suddenly!! ((JENG JENG JENG)) He asking about you she said "Kenapa tak ajak ayun? Ha ah eh mana dia sekarang kan? Busy kerja ke?" And my face was like OMG!! I was almost crying there!! My mom keep look at my face. All i can do is just keep quite and tunduk je. I cant do anything. My keep rewinding on our having a tea time with my grandparents. I wish you were beside me taste my teh susu. You love right? You really in love with my teh susu kan? And i still remember we always make teh susu every evening. Hmm memories never fade sayang. Hmm i hope you remember all those thingy :'< xoxo

Holidays. /

//Assalamualaikum. And Hi people. Its been awhile. I shall active through my blogging. I wanna tweet also. But i need to be quite from social network for awhile. Awhile................ ((mayb)) Hmm i really need a nice getaway for me. Hmmmmm........ I really want to USS again. Ugh there was a fun thingy there. But surely it must be more fun if I go with someone that i love. Lulz. Emmm going there alone theres no fun at all. I wanna scream through riding the roller coaster there. Emm. This holiday i need a time to relax... Ughhhhh what a fun thing to do on my holiday. Duhhhhhh.... Watching tv and so on. Hahaha kinda fun mayb. Hving fun with friends? Yeahhh absolutely yessss. I want to hv fun with my friends too yeahh. Duhhh. Hahaha, and yeah i want to deactivate my Twitter since i want to runaway from the social network. But emm.... hmmm.... urmmm... uhmmm....... Mayb tak kot. Hahaha lulz. Let it be yeahh. Just let it be. Kuikui. So jahat ahh me. Lols. Sorry i was too lifeless. Kahkah xD I m trying to be fun hoyeah hoyeah but i cant. Surely my friend will be so sad cause i was not like i used to. Hm sorry guys. I will trying one day. But for this moment i cant like seriously. Sorry guys. Just give me a time to let me cool down. I know you guys miss my smile my laugh my no ending story i know you guys miss me. But give me a lot of time to make me change like i used to ok? :) So yeahh. I throw my feeling over this blog. Emm. Kinda sad when i keep my missing feeling toward him but i cant tell him how much that i miss him. Well, i kept denying all about him. But all my deny are lies. They know how much i miss him. Hmm. So yeah keep my missing feeling towards him through my tears. Xoxo.


Sorry ada kutuk awak on my previous post. Cause im dead. Sorry.

Bleeding /

//Assalamualaikum. Yeah hi people. I get bored everyday even theres exam upcoming. But im getting boring. Emmmmmmmm teruk perangai nahhhh ((giggles)) Bukan nak jadi jahat atau apa. Im not gonna blaming anyone but it was hurt when someone that you love had move on. Fall in love with someone else. I know that he love with someone. Weather it was negative or positive thing but i know. I know it was so fast. Its only been 4 days. And i know when our relationship still on i know he was whtsping with other girls. I know that. I want to trust a guy. But im too dumb to trust someone that i love full of my heart totally backstabbing me. Totally a shit feeling ever. So fast to move on. But i cant. Watching him happy it was hurt totally hurt. Wechat? Webcam? Whatsapp? Gosh totally hurt. No wonder someone told me that you can be a playboy. Tak sangka pula benda ni boleh jd dkt aku pula. Em left me to be with another girl? Or what? Totally negative thinking. Sorry im not that kind of person that can layan person that sesuka hati like you did. Playboy? I never think that you are playboy. But the way you layan perempuan... Takp lah taknk fikir bukan bukan. Takp lah lg pun awak bosan kan? Hm. But you are totally change. It breaks my heart. Sorry to say but you are mean and cruel to do to me like that. Takp lah dia bangun untuk mengenal dunia dan mengejar duniawi yang berada di depan mata. Bila dia sudah capai duniawi yang dia kejar. Dia akan bahagia. Maka semua benda dia akan menolak semua nya ketepi. Sorry for saying this. I was mean and bad cause you makes me hurt Zarul. I knew i had hurt you before but sorry. I not that perfect. And i not that pretty like other girl. Im trying to be perfect for you before. But it was my mistake to be perfect for you but you left. And your ego. I hope when i die one day. Dont come my funeral with your ego. Because of your ego you forget about the whole world and people around you that you hurt. You did see that you are hurting them Zarul. Think. What a bout your statement think about us? Dont. Go on with your life forget me. I know i cant live without you. Tp bak kata awak. Tak boleh hidup tanpa aku eh? Pelik pelik je bukan? Tkp this time i get tired of crying. Move on with your life. Please. Im tired to dealing with your ego. Im too tired. Why am I kena macam ni kenapa dulu awak dgn ex ex awak tk macam ni? Nk balas dendam eh? Dari cara awak kita tahu dahh. My girls always said. Dont give up on you if i do love you. But you are the one who give up on me. Kesian kita kena tinggal mcm sampah. Sebab kita terlalu lemah. Im sorry what i've done. Tahu this post ada kutuk awak. Tp seriously kita sakit sangat sangat. Its hurt to watching you tweeting with your girls While I? Just watching your tweets and cry like hell. Its hurt. Mcm orang lain makan popcorn tp aku? Lap hingus dgn air mata guna bantal. Sakit k sakit. And your boys are supporting you to find another girl. What a good friend right? This is the first time that i give up on a boy. The first time i get truly hurt. I never felt this feeling ever in my life. I cant even eat. I do hungry but i cant eat. My life are MISERABLE. Im tired. Cause i cant move on like you. And my mind kept rewind our memories. Its hurts me. Totally. I need to stop typing. If i keep typing i will keep crying thinking over you. Sumpah. Ni pun type asyik nangis je. Hm.... Off here. xoxo

Unknown /

//Assalamualaikum. Hi and hi people. Semua sihat? I was so-so and ok-ok. Hm im not in a very a good mood act. Since something had happen towards me. Im feeling so down. Oh and yeah. Theres another 4days to go for school holiday. So yeay me!! Em i hope it will be a good holiday for me. Ok. And yeah theres another 5 paper to go to finish my mid-year exam. For my mid-year exam im trying my best to hv a good mood to study. I'll try. I hope it ending with a good result. Hm wishing. Yeah since i was em separated with the one who i love the most in my life ((i love my mom and dad and my friend and my family.ok)) so yeah. Em i was trying to rebuild my self confidence. Eventho it was hard for me to do that so i was trying. I know i cry so hard and hoping that he was mine again. And yeah i do love him as much as i love myself and my family. I cant bare this feeling anymore. Its killing me like seriously. I know he was happy with is life without me. I know that. Well sokay eventho i cant accept this thing had happen to me, i 'll try. If he love me he will be back to me. I want to try to be his again. I know i was not so-that-perfect but i'll try for him. Inshaa-Allah. I dont want to look so desperate to get his love again. I know i want it so badly to fall in love with him again and again everyday. I miss all those thing that happen to me. keep thinking that you were mine. Its killing me. Sometimes i cant even sleep keep crying so hard. Ugh. I want to be happy with him like seriously.... Seperti pepatah melayu "Kalau ada jodoh tk ke mana" ((Macam buat karangan)) K em so yeah i want to make a first step. But i dont know what to do. I kept termenung like hell and cry. Ugh new hobby of mine. I never felt like this before. Hm no matter what it is. Redha jela. Kalau dia ada yang baru pun hm i will be happy to see he happy. Eventho it was not me and i cant accept it but i'll try. I will be happy :') So yeah bye. xoxo

I miss to your smile. Your laugh. Your love towards me. Your missing me everyday like you told me. I miss the crazy us. I miss us. I miss you. I miss they you told me that you never let me go. I miss to cry infront of you and you try to chill me down. I miss everything about us. I miss you too :') Past is past. What can i do aite sayang? Goodluck for your life. hope you achieve everything that you want like you told me before. Usaha tangga kejayaan kan? Practice make perfect kan? Remember that. Remember what i told you before k honey? :')

Past. /

//Assalamualaikum, hi and hi. Hmmmm im tired of this. Why should i feel the pain and sadness and anything that pain. Im tired to feel all this thingy. Kalau dia ada hati perut keperimanusiaan dia tak akan buat mcm tu. Ni makna nya dia balas dendam. I know, cause dia ada ckp yang dia akan balas dendam dgn perempuan. I just dont know when. I think now. I think he took a revenge on me. I cant simply tuduh dia mcm tu tp i fell the thingy. He shouldn't do this to me. Cause he should respect me too. If im the one who always respect him like stupid nanti dia pijak kepala. Right? I got a right cause im the one who will the face the examination do you know that? Sampai takd semangat nk belajar ni semua. YaAllah, i dont know what happen to me right. I do love him YaAllah, rasa cinta sayang ni semua tk pernah nk hapus YaAllah, what should i do? I do miss the old him yang tk pernah nk buat aku sedih. Yang selalu risau bila aku sedih atau down. Yang selalu buat aku senyum tak kira masa. Aku rindu semua tu. Aku rindu nk belajar sesama. Rindu nk jadi sekolah sesama sebab dia boleh jaga aku dkt sekolah. Aku rindu tu semua..... Kenapa lah semua ni kena terjadi. Ada benda di sebalik muslihat ni semua aku tahu. Aku risau dkt dia. Aku takut disebab kan aku dia tak dapat capai impian dia. Tkp lahh aku cuba nk support dia. Tp entah lahh bila dah mcm ni setiap hari aku cuba bgtahu dia supaya dia dpt capai impian dia. Aku nk tgk dia bahagia and capai impian dia walaupun aku takd dkt sisi dia. Mungkin dgn org lain barangkali bukan dengan aku. Tpi nanti aku ttp bangga dia sbb aku ada support dia sebelum tu kan? Takp lah asal kan dia bahagia. Im too sad nuff said. Asyik nangis je pun tak boleh gak. Hahaha, i should smile or laugh. I'll try. Off here. Bye. xoxo

I miss this a lot :"((((((((


 photo a2724706-e283-4d0b-b84e-425a5a0cb86d_zpsc378d966.jpg Hi! Its me Bella. Im the owner of the blog. And i got a lot of broken english. Sorry. I try my best to get a best english here. And yeah sorry half of my blog are talking about a guy name Zarul :'> So yeah do enjoy my blog and my posts. Bye! Thank you!! xoxo